


Love Me As A Person, Not An Object

by yubbiechi



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Break Up, M/M, brief appearance of takanashi fam, technically a break up, they love each other but they gotta go their own way
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:15:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24066463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yubbiechi/pseuds/yubbiechi
Summary: Heir to the oldest and purest vampire clan, Sougo Ousaka decides to finally pursue his heart's desire after completing the pledging vow of life with his most dearest lover, Mido Torao. However, Torao isn't pleased with the news despite knowing fully well that Sougo's heart always lay somewhere beyond him.
Relationships: Midou Torao/Ousaka Sougo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	1. All His Adoration

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all what's up, how you doing under these circumstances? Me? I've been gaming while turning over angst ideas in my head until this one spurred me on to actually write more than 200 words. Honestly, I only wanted to write the first half of this but then it felt wrong to just leave it there. Plus I had some motivation to keep going. I feel a little rusty so I hope the characterization is... okay? I tried to take into account of how long they've lived and such.
> 
> Forgive my mistakes because it isn't edited. Choking warning for the first few lines! 
> 
> Please enjoy!

Torao slams the pale fragile neck against the wall, ignoring the nails piercing into his arm in resistance. He bares his fangs in Sougo’s face as anger burns brightly, painfully, in his chest. He doesn't care if Sougo is the heir to the clan that they swore loyalty to at this moment. Right now, they were simply two vampires.

" _Why_?" He hisses, pouring the overflowing emotion of confusion, anger, and desperation into the single word.

Sougo didn't answer, or rather couldn't with the tight grip Torao had on his throat.

"I've admired you…! For so long! And just when you had pledged to me, you- you chose to leave?!" Torao squeezes his throat in the flare up of emotions and the resulting gasp, choking sound finally has him relaxing his grip.

Torao watches with some degree of guilt as Sougo coughs in a fit at the sudden release of pressure. Still, he reasons, he is in his rights. The betrayal and questions that roars through his mind like a twister only assist in convincing himself. But when those eyes- those clear purple eyes- look up at him, they strike through like lightning cleaving through a tree and clarity returns to him.

Overwhelmed by the constant shift in his emotions, he rests his head against the wall beside Sougo's head. He doesn’t want to keep seeing them. The eyes that see through him. 

"... I just want to be by your side. To be yours." His voice, thunderous before, is now gentle like the rain at the tail end of a storm. His hand seeks out the familiar slim fingers and holds them loosely. His head drops to his shoulder with a small uttering of "Please, stay."

There's silence for only a few seconds but they were torturous to Torao. The same feeling when dark grey clouds hover on the edges of a bright blue sky.

Sougo's hand curls along the side of Torao's face and he lets himself be guided till he is staring at those captivating eyes. 

“I’m sorry.”

“You..!” Gritting his teeth, Torao forces himself to quell the anger that threatens to take his rationality again. He searches his eyes as a focus instead. The guilt is clear but beyond that, beyond them, there is a light far stronger and stretches much further than him.

Beyond his anger, Torao feels something break inside.

He grips the hand on his face, wanting to savor every physical contact he’ll have left to carry with him. Until fate decides they should meet again. 

"... Your goodbyes are just as painful as your bite."

Sougo's expression lightens up. His hand drifts down to his neck, grazing gently across his nape. "Sorry…"

Torao huffs. He really didn't want apologies to be all he hears before he leaves. _Maybe I should provoke him some._

He takes a step forward, which isn't much considering there was little space between them already. Sougo doesn't react to the limitation, eyeing him quizzically instead.

"What? You think I'll let you leave so easily?"

"Torao." Sougo is stern as he leans closer. It's more of a reminder than a warning. A reminder that he can't do as he pleases with him.

"Can't you relax a little?" Torao mutters, encircling an arm around his waist. "It's the middle of the night and our last moment together." He rests his forehead against his. "Indulge me a little, won't you?"

He knows he is taking advantage of Sougo's guilt, but he deserves this much. Their lives are as endless as the sea, and to have an age-old promise be ripped apart for Sougo's desire would be changing the tides temporarily.

And who knows how long temporary will be.

"I… It's not because of you, you know that?" Sougo whispers as his hand trails back up from his neck to his cheek. "If I could, I would stay-"

"Liar." Torao cuts him off immediately and pulls away. "You would never stay for me."

"Torao-"

"Don't pity me." His voice is harsher, colder, and the distant heat of anger in his chest flares up again. "Everyone else can for whatever stupid idea but not _you_. Never you."

Torao is glaring him down again. He sees Sougo flinch from his outburst. His outstretched hand now clenched and drawn back to himself. It is a pathetic sight that doesn’t suit the heir of a head vampire clan.

_Head huh… looks like that’ll be me now._

Weariness seeps into his muscles at the thought. He considers leaving before any remaining good in their relationship depletes itself completely. He doesn’t want them to part on such a sour note. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself with that. Sougo must've read or sensed it because he moves forward in that moment and latches onto his wrist.

"I won't, so don't go yet." He pleads and Torao almost wants to laugh.

He sighs instead and pulls Sougo into an embrace. There's no natural warmth in their body but he feels safe with him so close. The scent of sandalwood on him that he carries from being exposed to it daily, along with the distinct and natural scent that is his alone, calms him. He realizes he would come to hate it.

Torao curls further into him, leaving Sougo to do all the supporting. "I wonder, if I hadn't met you then, would I still feel like this."

"Maybe. I'm not the only one you'll love, after all."

"But you're the only one I want to love. Who else but you?"

"There's more than just our world." Sougo soothes, carding his fingers through his hair.

"I don't care for it." Torao tightens his arms around him. "It's ugly."

"You haven't seen it yet."

“Don’t care.”

“Not even for me?”

"That’s a pain."

Sougo laughs quietly and brings his face down to press his lips against his lightly. "Who knows. Maybe you’ll find the right hero for you."

"I hate you." Torao declares as he kisses him again. “I really really hate you right now.”

"I know." Sougo hums as he is pressed back against the wall.

"I can ruin everything, right now, for you."

"You can." Sougo tilts his head to the side when Torao lowers his lips to his neck. "But you won't."

Torao growls and bites his neck- not enough to draw blood though. “Don’t test me.”

“You’re still under my command.”

Torao grumbles and pulls back enough to lift Sougo’s hand between them. “It’s your fault. Take some responsibility.” He presses his lips against the clan mark on his wrist. The same mark that had only recently been resting on his right wrist. “You’re leaving me with all of yours and some.”

He stops the apology about to fall out of Sougo’s lips again. “Just let me have a false dream tonight.”

Torao watches the conflict in his eyes between leaving immediately and sparing a few hours for him. To take responsibility as he had phrased it.

“Okay.” Sougo breathes out and Torao blinks, surprised. “Just for tonight.”

Stunned silent, Torao takes a step back and reassesses him. Did he convince him? Or has he always had mutual feelings with him? He wants to ask but he knows that the answers would only haunt and upset him more.

He doesn’t think he can live a century more with the knowledge.

“Just tonight then.” Torao utters before sweeping Sougo into his arms and tilting his chin up. “Let me believe in this happy end.”


	2. All Of His Life

The moon is barely visible when Sougo awakens and glances out the window. The midnight blue of the night sky is fading to a light blue just below the treeline. _It's almost time._

He turns away to look at the man resting beside him. His dark red eyes closed from the world, Torao appears as gentle as a kitten. The taller vampire would bulk at such a comment, he muses. Brushing a strand of hair behind his ear, Sougo leans down and presses his lips against his cheek.

“I wasn’t lying when I said I love you.” He murmurs, recalling the words he shared between them a few days ago. His fingers trace the edge of his jaw, ghosting over slightly parted lips. “There’s just more to this world I have to see for myself.”

Too much of his life has been meeting the expectations of his father, drilled in by everyone's envy and admiration. Torao was also a part of them when he first saved him from hunters. But, unlike others, Torao wormed his way through his wall and eventually became the few in his long life that kept him from losing all sense of himself.

It pains him to leave. Sougo wants to stay in this comfortable space. He wants to stay with Torao and his love for good that is rare among their kind. His demanding spoiled side charms him and his overprotectiveness when they were hunting warms his still heart. But he knows allowing the chance for freedom to pass by would dissipate any remaining hope to live as himself die. 

This closed world has taken all it can from him already.

Torao, however, hasn't grown disdainful of it yet. Apathetic he may be to those that carried shallow expectations for him, he has a heart that cares and intelligent that went beyond a simple fighter. Sougo is certain he is befitting enough to replace him. His fingers brush over his exposed wrist. Even if they dare oppose him, he has the right of it with his mark. 

No one should question him.

Leaving one last kiss on his wrist, Sougo gets out of the bed and gathers his clothings. He needs to hurry if he wishes to leave before the others return from their hunt and catch him on his way out. He refuses the voice calling for him to look back, to see Torao's resting figure against the waning moonlight. He doesn’t think he would be strong enough to resist delaying some more if he did. 

As he closes the door behind him, he misses the figure curling further into themselves.

Sougo moves swiftly and silently the moment the door closes behind him. He’s thankful his room was not too far from Torao’s, entering it without any pause.

“Are you sure about this, Sougo?” Gou asks him the moment the door shut.

He's not surprised, having caught his scent along the way. “Yes. It’s all been prepared for this. I can’t back out now.”

“But what about Master Mido… er Torao?”

“He’s upset." Sougo confirms, opening his wardrobe's door and shifting through the clothes. "He might be upset for a long time. But he’ll have you to support him.”

Gou’s face contorts at the remark. “Never thought you'd be so cruel as to ditch your lover after getting married.”

“We’re not married.” Sougo steps away from the dresser with a bag in tow.

“You practically are. You guys had a whole ceremony where you're giving your life to each other.”

“We’re not married, Gou.” Sougo reiterates more sternly as he checks the supplies inside bag again. “We only made a vow that’ll view him as my equal in everyone's eyes and have the same position.”

“In case _something_ happens to you, not when you abandon everything.” He retorts and Sougo pauses for a moment. The pang of guilt he had earlier with Torao’s outburst returning. “Besides, isn’t that a marriage in your vampire lingo?”

“You’re a vampire too, Gou.” Sougo deadpans, shaking it off and tightening the drawstring on his bag. He turns around to face his friend. “Is that all you wanted to say?”

Gou stares at him, appalled. “I have _so much_ I want to say to the point I can’t believe I agree with Master Torao, of all people, at this moment.”

“Is that so?" Sougo says cooly, "I heard from him already, so I won’t take anymore of your time.”

“Wait!” Gou panics, shooting out an arm in front of him to block his way to the door. Sougo obliges him but with a leveled stare to indicate his level of patience. “Just. Be careful out there. The hunters aren’t merciful and neither are normal humans.”

“I know. I have learned that much from you and my uncle, after all.”

Gou shakes his head, crossing his arms. "That’s not it. Just… Don't underestimate them. Promise me."

Sougo smiles faintly at his friend's concern. "I promise.”

Gou snorts and turns away from him. “I can't believe you're willing to give up this comfortable life for dirt in your pants.”

"It's better than being caged for eternity." He remarks with a chuckle. He observes his friend for a moment. The faint marks of age were still on him despite being changed for more than a few decades. He suppose that’s to be expected, turning into a vampire doesn’t revert one’s age back.

“... I’ll be here if you ever need me. Master Torao too, even if you’re reluctant to ask for help from us.” Gou proclaims suddenly. “So if you ever regret it, you always have a place here. We'll make sure of it.”

Sougo smiles widely this time and nods. “Alright. I'll leave it to you two.”

With nothing else to say, Sougo heads on his way out- only to be stopped again by a hand. He turns to look at Gou quizzically.

“Don’t tell me you think walking out the front door will work.” Gou asks incredulously.

“Won’t the back door work?”

Gou lets out another sigh, a palm sliding down his face. “You’re a supernatural being and walking out the door is your idea of escaping secretly?”

Sougo yelps as he is suddenly dragged to the balcony window. “Gou?”

“Be a goddamn vampire and jump off from here, you idiot.” Gou commands as he threw open a door. “It’s easier than getting caught with a bag.”

The night wind whooshes past him as he steps out. Pale blue shining more on the horizon now. He sees the usual mist rolling below in the forest and the taste of morning dew fresh on his tongue. He'll soon be in it, in nature's wonderful glory and the world spread out before him.

“You should go before dawn breaks.”

Sougo blinks and nods, glancing over his shoulder as he stride towards the railing. “Thank you. For everything.”

Gou bows lazily. “Naturally, Master.” He raises back up with a smirk on his face. “Have a safe trip.”

Sougo doesn’t say anything and leaps off instead. He lands on his feet and immediately makes a break towards the forest without looking back.

**Author's Note:**

> come scream at me or just stare into oblivion with your thoughts on [twitter](https://twitter.com/yubbiechi)


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